Making Room for Abundance

I’m done living in this scarcity mindset. Recoiling into a fear-like state and subscribing to what is familiar and predictable. Ironically this is intended to keep me safe. But it counters every unfamiliar possibility of good that is to come into my life.

Living day to day with the knowledge of everything that is to come becomes redundant. And for me, it led me down a path of dread. Waking up each morning without the desire to proceed with my own storyline because I could already foresee my future. Something boring and typical and not at all enticing.

There is something beautiful about discovering a passion. Finding a new way to enjoy life. I think when you find something that makes you feel alive, you should hold onto it without immediately trying to exploit it.

My passion just happens to have the potential to become a legitimate source of income. So long as I put in the work, there is a possibility that something I genuinely enjoy could also become something that supports me.

But throughout the beginning of pursuing it, I encountered so many logistical questions about finances and practicality. Can this really work? Is this realistic? What if it doesn't?

And eventually, I realized that some of the uncertainty I was absorbing wasn't necessarily coming from within me. It was coming from my circle. From people who didn't understand the vision I could see for myself. And the more I listened to their critique and uncertainty, the more I surrendered the possibility of being surprised by life’s many outcomes.

There is something inherent in my thinking that has placed me in the current reality of getting by just enough to survive. No grand dramatic means of indulging in all that life has to offer. I keep delaying it to some future version of me. Maybe when I work hard enough. Maybe when I make enough money. Maybe when I finally become the person I think I need to be, things will work out.

I think I have been valuing my work ethic far more than my brain’s ability to think and my spirit’s ability to create.

It is only now, in my 28th year of living, that I have discovered the natural flow of enjoyable output that comes from simply delighting in the things you do. In the simple ways you live your life. In taking care of your mind, body and spirit. In naturally expressing your own sense of self.

Maybe that’s where the bondage of residing feelings of lack begins to be broken. Permitting yourself into unknown territory that feels almost consequential. Because there is fear in it. And often, there is the concern of the people who love us, who want to secure us into a place of safe, precautionary comfortability.

But it isn't always comfort in the sense that your soul is given the ability to rest. Sometimes, we trade that rest for the security of an economic position. Or societal acceptance. Or the reassurance of knowing exactly what comes next.

And maybe that is the part I am finally beginning to question.

What if I don't need to know exactly what comes next?

Removing the constant concern for those things opens up a new transparency to an unclear destination. Suddenly, you may not see what it is that is coming, but you can certainly feel that great things are.

Maybe that is what abundance actually is.

Not just trusting that something good is coming, but having the capacity to actually feel the goodness that is already here. To be present enough to experience your own life. To create something simply because you are curious about it. To make something because it brings you joy, rather than it needing to produce something in return. To be content enough to receive what is already being given to you.

I think I am beginning to recognize that in my own life. When the things I create or the work I do come from sheer curiosity and enjoyment, something feels different. There isn't the same desperation attached to the outcome. I am not creating solely because I need it to lead somewhere. I am creating because I genuinely want to see what comes from it.

And maybe that, in itself, is an alignment with abundance.

Because abundance isn't always having more. Sometimes it is having enough room within yourself to feel, to create, to receive, and to be present for the life that is already unfolding.

Maybe I don't need to know exactly how everything will work out. Maybe I don't need the entire roadmap before I begin walking.

Maybe the point isn't to know where I'm going.

Maybe the point is to leave enough room in your life to be surprised by where you end up.